
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/4438877.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Other_Relationship_Tags_to_Be_Added, Background_Erwin/
      Mike
  Character:
      Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Eren_Yeager, Hange_Zoë, Petra_Ral, Eld_Jinn,
      Oluo_Bozado, Gunther_Schultz, Erwin_Smith, Mike_Zacharias, Mikasa
      Ackerman, Armin_Arlert, Jean_Kirstein, Marco_Bott, Reiner_Braun, Sasha
      Blouse, Connie_Springer, Annie_Leonhart
  Additional Tags:
      Reincarnation, Reincarnation!AU, Slow_Build, Hospital_Setting, Modern
      times, child!Eren, Teenage!Levi, psychiatric_hospital, Levi_is_a_nurse
      and_Eren_is_a_patient, Flashbacks_in_Canonverse, Smut, Sex, Anal_Sex,
      First_Time, Love, First_Love, Fluffy, Dorks_in_Love, sometimes_angsty
      Levi, More_tags_to_be_added
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-07-27 Updated: 2016-02-01 Chapters: 6/? Words: 11383
****** This Time ******
by ConofAngels
Summary
     Levi has been reincarnated into a modern world, only to find himself
     surrounded by strangers. He remembers everything from his last life,
     but has not found anyone who shares his memories. Levi has all but
     given up on this reincarnated life, however fate comes crashing
     through a glass door and changes everything. A story about loneliness
     and love, time and tragedy, and waiting for the person you love to
     return to you.
Notes
     Hello AO3 people! This is my first time writing a fic on AO3 and in
     the SnK fandom. I've had this idea floating around in my head for a
     while, and I wanted to share it with you all. I hope you enjoy!
***** Chapter 1 *****
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The insufferable noise of Levi's alarm clock wrestled him into consciousness.
His eyes protested and fought to remain closed. He felt a familiar ache in his
back and shoulders. Too much standing, not enough sleeping, or so his coworkers
said. He groaned loudly, but eventually rolled out of bed. He turned off his
alarm, eyes squinting at the bright red numbers reminding him of the time.
4:30am.
He made his way to the small bathroom in his apartment. It was rather bare, but
he preferred it that way. Like every other day, his eyes purposely avoided the
small mirror that hung over the sink. He relieved himself and started up the
shower. He waited until the water was near scalding and entered the hot
streams. This was one of the things he adored; a shower so hot it actually
helped soothe some of his anxiety and reassured him that he was, in fact,
clean. He washed himself quickly and efficiently. Old habit.
He turned off the water and waited so that some of the water droplets sticking
to his skin and hair would submit to gravity and run down his body into the
drain. He dried off any remaining water with a fluffy white towel and stepped
out of the shower. He breathed deeply. It was the time of the day he hated the
most. He wiped the steam off of the mirror and saw his own face. It was almost
a lie, it wasn't really his face. Not anymore. He pressed on his cheeks, ran
his fingertips over his forehead and grabbed his chin just to confirm that the
mirror was still copying him and that it was most certainly his face.
A frustrated scowl appeared from his reflection. He still didn't understand
what had happened to him. He could only assume that he had died and ended up in
another time. But if only it was so simple. His shoulders drooped and he left
the bathroom, frown still painted firmly on his features. He went back to his
bedroom and began dressing his teenage body.
__
5:06am.
Levi got on the bus at the same time every day. Though he despised public
transportation, he found it bearable at this hour, with only one or two other
people joining him for the early morning commute and the bus still smelling
like industrial cleaner. His work was only thirty minutes of walking, but he
opted for extra sleep and took the bus in the morning. If he was completely
honest, he would much rather just take a horse to work. Much more efficient and
sometimes less smelly. He a quickly learned that horses were not commonly used
for transportation in this era, which made him more sad than he had expected.
Thankfully, the bus went directly to his work from the stop close to his home.
He exited the bus and entered the hospital, his backpack securely on his
shoulders. Staff members greeted him and he acknowledged them with a polite nod
of the head. He made his way to his preferred staircase and began the trek up
five floors to get to his unit. Elevators were on his list of things he just
couldn't get used to.
He arrived at the locked door to the staff changing room and swiped his access
pass in order to be allowed entry. The sensor blinked green and chirped at him,
as if welcoming him back for another day. Once in front of his locker, he
pulled some clean, cream coloured scrubs out of his backpack. He quickly
changed, gently folded his street clothes, placed them in the backpack and put
said pack into his locker. He exited the changing room through a different door
at the back of the room. It lead directly to the nurses station. He clocked in
3 minutes early, just like every other day.
5:27am.
__
Levi was 13 years old when he finally accepted that his nightmares were
memories of a past life, and not horrifying fiction created by his imagination
or subconscious. He was a fully grown man, a soldier, a corporal, effectively
stuck in child's body. He had been given a redo for his life, as if the
universe attempted to apologize for the wrong doings in his real life. The
thought made him bitter. What was the point of living anew if everyone he cared
about was long since dead? He had been a lot of things while a part of the
Survey Corps, alone was never one of them. Hell, there were even times were he
would have needed to been alone, but was granted no such luxury. He tried not
to dwell on the details of his rebirth, lest he lose his mind.
In truth, having the mind of a trained soldier in a child's body had
advantages. Since the moment he had accepted his identity to the present day,
he had managed to blow through the schooling system and completed high school
and finished both an undergraduate and graduate degree. He found this society's
schools to be extremely simple. Memorize and regurgitate was the name of the
game for them, and if you could do that, they held you on a pedestal and named
you a genius. He had excelled in his classes, especially those based on
anatomy.
In the end, he had made the peculiar choice of pursuing psychiatric nursing as
a profession. Perhaps he felt that if he surrounded himself with people who
were considered insane, it would make him feel marginally less insane. He had
been offered employment immediately upon graduation, and he had chosen the
psychiatric hospital that best suited his needs. He often was surprised to find
he actually didn't mind this type of work. Still being rather new in the field,
he was often assigned to patients who were docile and quiet, which suited him
just fine.
His day ended up being rather dull and uneventful. He made his rounds, handed
out what needed to be handed out, made sure the windows were clean enough for
the patients to look out of and filled out all of his necessary paperwork.
5:00pm.
The overnight staff started to trickled in. Everyone went about debriefing and
sharing stories from their personal life. He knew that he should at least
attempt to interact with his colleagues more, but the people he had met in this
life so far seemed vain and boring. No one had any fight in them, no real
desire to live or hope for changing the world. There was no light in their
eyes. When he did speak to them, the conversations were incredibly tedious.
They, themselves, hardly seemed to have any interest in socializing with who
they believed to be an 19 year old prodigy.
5:27pm.
Levi dropped his pen into the proper drawer and shut it gently. He quietly went
about organizing the office supplies, casually waiting for his shift to be
over. Loud shouting in the hallway and the sound of running feet had his body
reacting instinctively, alerting his senses to a potential danger. A familiar
rush of adrenaline filled his veins and, for an instant, he truly felt like
himself. He hurried to follow the rest of the nursing staff to a large, frosted
glass door that separated their unit from child psychiatry.
He could hear the screams clearly. He could think of no other way to describe
the but that of an animal caught in a trap and pleading for death. With another
loud wail, the glass door suddenly cracked. Most of the staff yelped and took a
cautious step back. His hands acted on instinct and he reached to his hips to
draw his weapon, but he dropped them awkwardly upon realizing that there were
no weapons for him to pull forward. He could make out the outline of what
seemed to be two nurses attempting to restrain a terror of a child. He quirked
a eyebrow, curious about how a single child manager to corner two adults and
fought them with such strength as to crack a thick glass door.
He didn't have to wait to find out. Within an instant, the door shattered.
Shards of glass flew, and bodies tumbled. A breath hitched in a throat.
Amongst a mop of soft brown hair, a pair of fierce teal eyes starred up at him.
5:31pm.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi recognizes more than one set of eyes and finds out disturbing
     news about Eren's identity.
Chapter Notes
     We get a little bit of angsty Levi in this chapter. It may seem a bit
     OOC to some, but I've always believed that Levi experiences very
     strong emotions and in the universe I've created, he hasn't built up
     that resistance that he used to have. Let me know how you guys feel
     about it.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's heart raced, his body stiffened, his lungs refused to gather more air.
Those eyes.
Eyes that had haunted him for 19 years. Eyes that appeared in daydreams and
nightmares. Eyes that appeared in dark alleys and on bright sunny days.
Whenever he allowed his mind to become unfocused, those eyes would appear.
Eren's eyes.
Though he remained transfixed on his eyes, his brain did at some point realize
that he was not looking at his own Eren. This was the face of a child, 10,
maybe 11 years old. Levi's mind was rolling through so many emotions that it
took a woman yelling to release him from his stupor.
“Jackson!” the woman screamed.
The child seemed to react to her voice and tried to crawl forward on the sharp
pieces of glass, cutting himself and leaving trails of blood in his wake.
“Jackson,” the woman said sternly, “Don't you try to get away. This is a locked
area, you can't leave.”
Jackson. Jackson?! Levi's eyebrows furrowed deeply and a frown appear on his
face, the corners of his mouth trembled with anger. Was this a joke? This boy
definitely had Eren's body and face, but was it not really him? How was he
supposed to deal with someone else wearing Eren's body? Did that mean that
Eren's mind was stuck in someone else's body? Would he never again get to see
those teal eyes light up the way only Eren's spirit can manage? This was
getting to be too much, he could feel a burning sensation behind his eyes. Too
many questions, too many possibilities, even his old soul couldn't handle it
all.
But as he always did, Eren had a way of surprising him.
“That's not my name! My name is Eren!” the child retorted indignantly, “And you
are not my mother! She was killed! I saw it with my own eyes.”
Levi's legs finally gave out. He dropped gracelessly and the sound of his
kneecaps hitting the glass and the hard floor echoed in the large hallway. It
was enough to get little Eren's attention. Those eyes looked at him. But as he
always could, he read every emotion portrayed in the young child's eyes. Fear.
Anger. Confusion. Desperation. Determination.
“Hello, Eren.”
The words left his mouth before he was aware he was speaking. He could hear the
confused murmur of the other staff and the screams of an angry mother ordering
him to back away from the child, using words like “crazy”, “violent” and
“wild”. His ears acknowledged the sounds and quickly dismissed them as
unimportant, for at this moment, Eren's eyes were alight and a smile spread on
his face as he rushed over to him. The boy crawled on all fours, through the
glass and all, but eventually made to Levi and wrapped his small arms around
his torso. Levi had half a thought to just grab the child and run. But he
decided against kidnapping and simply wrapped his arms loosely around the boy.
He couldn't hide the smallest of smiles when he realized this was the first
time in his life that Eren had been smaller than him.
“Do you have him?” a voice asked softly from across the hall. It was like
someone has dropped a bucket of ice water on him. He recognized that voice.
He looked up, and as expected, a pair of large curious eyes and a playful smile
looked back at him. It was really her. Hanji was standing right a few feet in
front of him. He could only nod in response to her question. Little Eren looked
up at him and puffed his cheeks angrily.
“It's okay,” he whispered gently to the child, “She's a very nice lady. She
will help you.”
Eren seemed to contemplate this information, and with a defeated sigh, released
his hold on Levi. He ruffled Eren's hair and frowned when it felt brittle and
dry. He did a quick inspection of the child, and though he was covered in a
over-sized hoodie and loose fitting jeans, he could see that Eren's hands were
thin and bony. He wondered if the rest of him was in a similar state.
“Let's get you all cleaned up and settled in a room, okay Eren?” Levi said,
trying again to speak softly.
“Yeah, okay.” Eren replied.
They both stood up, and Levi couldn't help but pick up Eren, even though he was
much too old to be carried. He didn't want anyone else to touch him until he
was safely in Hanji's care. While carefully treading through the glass, he
whispered into little Eren's ear. There was one particularly troubling part of
Eren's behaviour and he couldn't wait any longer, he needed to know.
“Eren,” he took a deep breath, “Do you know me? Do you know who I am?”
Another bucket of ice water. The boy shook his head.
“No, sir.” he whispered back.
Levi inhaled sharply, leaned his head forward so that his eyes would be hidden
and placed the boy next to Hanji.
“He'll be in good care.” she reassured him, smiling largely and running her
hand over Eren's hair. Her eyes flashed darkly for a sliver of a moment, and
Levi was certain that she had the same suspicions that he did. She turned on
her heels, spinning little Eren with her. They rounded a corner and he was gone
again.
A nameless colleague lead him into an observation room, quickly going to work
helping him out of his pants and picking out the shards of glass lodged in his
knees and shins. Once cleaned and bandaged, someone brought him his backpack
and he redressed in his own clothes, folded his dirtied work outfit and placed
it in his pack. He was vaguely aware of his colleague and his supervisor asking
him if he was okay and if he could make it home on his own. Levi nodded to all
of their questions, but didn't say a word.
He had learned so much today. And a part of him wishes he hadn't. Eren didn't
know him. If Hanji knew him, she didn't act like it. He left the hospital and
walked back home, his feet knowing where to lead him thanks to muscle memory.
He opened the door and walked into his apartment. He angrily threw his pack
into the living room and it landed with a thud. He slammed the door shut,
pressed his back against the cool wood and slowly let his body slide down the
length of the door. Nothing made sense. Why did Eren have memories of his past
life, but not of him? Why did Hanji have no idea who she was or who he was? Why
was he surrounded by familiar faces, and somehow still horribly alone?
The tears that had threatened to fall since the moment he'd seen little Eren's
face finally made an appearance. Hot streams of salty water rolled down his
face, filled with grief, anger, hate and traces of fear. What was the point of
this life? Why would anyone put him through this torture? He lifted himself
from the floor and went to his stereo. He had his mp3 player docked in a set of
speakers. He requested the device play “Eren's Playlist”, a compilation of
music he had accumulated and stored that reminded him of his love. He turned up
the volume to drown out the sobs of anguish that escapes his mouth as his
cried.
Chapter End Notes
     And another chapter complete. Let me know what you think :) Thank you
     so much to everyone who's already subscribed, left kudos and
     commented. Much love!
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     In this chapter, we get a glimpse into the Levi's memories and his
     past-life relationship with Eren.
Chapter Notes
     Mentions of naughtiness in this chapter, fyi. Also TW: Levi memory is
     based in canonverse, meaning that it is considered underage.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi woke a few hours later. He had managed to cry himself into an exhausted
state of sleep, something he had not done in a long time. Realizing he was
still on the floor, he lifted himself and attempted to right his clothing. His
apartment was dark and quiet, his playlist long since done. The moon provided a
bit of light so he would navigate the room. He switched on the light and looked
at the clock on the wall. It was just passed midnight. He picked up his phone
and called work to let them know that he was not going to be coming in today.
He needed time to think.
Eren.
His head was filled with memories of Eren.
Eren smiling on a warm summer day.
Eren slurping his soup in that disgusting way that he did.
Eren laughing at a joked Hanji cracked.
Eren cleaning a place too high for Levi to reach.
Eren wrapped in soft blankets, sleeping after a long day.
Eren pulling off his shirt during a spar with Mikasa.
Eren screaming out in sweet pleasure when Levi finally entered him after an
extended amount of teasing.
At first it had been a silly obsession. He had watched Eren for days. Cleaning
floors on his hands and knees. Bouncing around on a horse. The way he sucked on
his dessert spoon for an extra few seconds after taking a bite. He always
tripped over the last stair to the upper level, because it was just slightly
higher than the rest of the stairs.
It was Eren's ridiculous quirks that had intrigued him. How could someone want
so desperately to kill and destroy, yet smile so much?
Levi ran his fingers over his lips as he recalled the first time he had kissed
the brat. It had been raining for nearly three days and everyone had opted to
stay indoors. Well, almost everyone. Eren wanted to “feel the mud between his
toes”, was how he had put it. Levi couldn't think of anything more revolting.
They all watched from the windows as Eren bounced around barefoot from puddle
to puddle, Petra shouting about how sick he would be if he didn't come back
inside. They all laughed when Eren finally lost his footing and fell on his ass
into the mud. Levi had laughed internally. No one laughed harder than Eren
himself. Deciding he had enough of mud and rain, Eren had carefully lifted
himself from the ground and headed towards the large door back into their
castle. Levi had met him at the door with a towel.
“Thank you, Heichou.” Eren said softly, while taking the towel. A dusty pink
appeared on the brunette's cheeks.
Levi had reached up and grabbed Eren by the collar of his shirt and yanked him
down. Eren gasped loudly at the motion. This is how he wanted him. Dirty and
wet, full of life and drive. He planted his lips firmly on Eren's. He didn't
expect what he felt. Everything suddenly felt hot and yet cold, and his body
tingled with electricity. He released Eren just has roughly has he had kissed
him, turned on his heels and left the glassy-eyed teen in the hallway.
From that point on, it had been chaos between them. Levi had known the feeling
of needing to bury oneself in someone's body after a long, traumatic day, just
needing to feel something good. It was completely different with Eren. It was
like they were afraid that the spark would go out just as quickly as it
appeared. Meeting in darkened hallways just to be able to touch each other.
Sneaking away from dinner early just to be able to taste the other's lips
sooner. There was a tension between them, constantly. They were either
bickering and fighting, or feverishly pleasuring each other.
He had wanted to wait for Eren to ask him to take it all the way. He had wanted
to turn the brat into a messy beggar, needing him so much that he couldn't
handle it. It turned out to be the other way around. He had needed Eren too
much, he needed to mark him as is own. The desire to do so intensely
overwhelmed him. Finally, he had been the one to break, and during a
particularly hot meeting in his bed, he asked Eren his permission to take away
his virginity.
The brat's face had broken into a large, happy smile with a deep blush painting
his youthful cheeks.
“Of course, Heichou.” he had responded, “I wasn't sure you would want me that
way.” he added.
He almost punched Eren right in the nose. Was he completely oblivious? He had
been barely containing his growing desire for a fortnight. He decided to let
the comment pass and place a chaste kiss on Eren's mouth.
Eren had let him take him that night. And front that point on, the power
struggle nearly ceased. They did still argue and fight, but most of time it
ended in Eren pleading for Levi fuck him right were they stood. And he often
did. People had quickly noticed the change in atmosphere when the two lovers
were in the room together, and wisely starting removing themselves from the
area as quickly as their current situation would allow.
Being with Eren was the most powerful he had felt in his whole life. He lived
for the moans and cries of pleasure that flowed carelessly from the younger
man's mouth. A constant reminder of the power he held over him. He had to
fight, sneak and steal his whole life. The world around him had adamantly
refused to bow to his will. And then there was Eren. The most powerful being he
had ever met, and he had submitted himself willingly, with a lovely smile
plastered on his face. He had sometimes wished that he could be as free to show
his feelings, but a dark part of him feared what Eren might do if he came to
know how much he was affected by the brunette.
A loud buzzing brought him back to the present moment. He wasn't sure when he
had unbuckled his pants or at what point he decided to grasp his dick, but
there it was, red and swollen and begging for relief in his left hand. He
scowled, released his grip and pushed himself back into his pants. It was an
oddity in this life, his sexual desire was essentially non-existent, except for
situations like the one he found himself in. Buried in memories of desperate
sex with a boy he was foolishly in love with.
The buzzing sound repeated itself, a bit more insistent this time. He sighed
and went to fetch his phone. He glared at the device and considered tossing it
across the room for pulling him from such a sweet memory. The buzzing was to
alert him of an email he had received, reminding him to pay his electricity
bill before the due date. But he had already paid the bill, and the message was
therefore pointless, which made him all the more angry.
He knew he needed to calm down, his mind and his body were protesting the way
he was treating them. He took a handful of deep breaths, then went about making
himself some honey chamomile tea to help soothe him. Once the steamy liquid
consumed, a very sleepy Levi climbed into bed. He wanted to stay up later, but
he had to sleep. He would need his strength tomorrow. Even though he had taken
an arousing trip into his memories and cried until he couldn't stand, he still
had not address the most pressing issue.
What was he to do about little Eren?
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you, thank you, thank you! To all that have been commenting and
     leaving kudos. I am so shocked at the prompt response by you guys. I
     hope you were able to enjoy this chapter as well. Take care, and I
     hope you have a good day!
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Notes
     Hello all! Thank you so much for being so lovely and patient while I
     was on holiday. We can now proceed with the next chapter. Just so
     everyone is aware, this is a canonverse chapter and it gets right
     down and dirty. This is my first time writing smut, so please be
     gentle with me *hides behind hands*.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
“Heichou?” Eren asked, looking up at him.
They were in a large bathtub, filled to the brim with steamy water and soapy
bubbles. It was a particularly cold day, and everyone felt it in their bones.
He and Eren had decided to share a hot bath in order to shake the chills from
their cores. Eren was leaning his back into Levi's chest, the youth's long legs
bent and poking out above the water.
“Hmm?” Levi replied, running his fingers through Eren's long locks.
“Can we try something different tonight?” the teen asked nervously, averting
his gaze and choosing to poke some stray bubbles.
“If there is something you want to say, just say it.” Levi replied in an
annoyed tone.
Eren quickly spun around, causing the water to slosh around and spill over the
sides of the tub. His teal eyes were full of lust and curiosity, a dangerous
and often marvellous combination.
“Would you let me ride you tonight?!” the younger blurted out loudly.
Panic shot through Levi's spine. Eren wanted to ride him? But that would mean
he needed to loosen the reins a bit, temporarily leave his position of power
and let the younger man be in control. Could he do that?
“What.” was the only thing his shocked mouth could produce.
“Well, you know. It's like, instead of me being on my back and you entering me
like that, you'd be on your back and I would, well kinda lower myself...”
“Yes brat, I know how it works!”
“Oh okay,” Eren winced at the harsh tone, “Is that a no, then?” he whispered,
disappointment tainting his question.
“Come here.” Levi ordered coarsely.
Eren sank back into the water and returned to his previous position. Levi
picked up the soap and started to work on cleaning the brunette's shoulders.
Eren sighed contentedly at the contact.
“Why do you want to try that?” Levi asked, now washing his lovers arm. He felt
the younger tense at the question.
“It's just sounded like fun. I heard it feels really good.”
“And who told you that?”
“Ah, I... I just heard it. A long time ago. During training! Yes, it was during
training...”
“It was Hanji, wasn't it?”
“Dammit!”
“You really are a truly horrible liar.”
Eren laughed loudly and the sound reverberated in Levi's chest and filled it
with warmth. But just as soon as the last sounds of the laughter faded, Eren
lifted himself off of Levi's chest, pulled in his knees and wrapped his arms
around them. He rested his head on his kneecaps and mumbled something
incoherently.
“Tsk. I can't understand you. Speak properly or don't speak at all.” Levi
snapped, essentially ignoring the teen's sulking and take the opportunity to
clean his back. He felt Eren take a deep breath.
When Eren did finally did lift his head a look at him, there was a fear in his
eyes. It was different from what he was used to seeing. It wasn't fear of death
or the lingering fears after a nightmare.
“I...” Eren squeaked out. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I'm worried
that you are getting bored of me.”
Another spike of panic ran through the older man. He mentally cursed the brat
for being such an idiot and completely unaware that Levi was horribly addicted
to him.
“Why would you think that?” Levi responded calmly.
“I guess the last few weeks, I feel like to are acting differently towards me.
You've stopped yelling at me as much. Your orders sound more like a request
than a command. You kiss me more, but it doesn't lead to anything else. You
take longer to enter me during sex. Before you barely needed more than a few
minutes and you'd take me as hard as you could. I thought maybe I was doing
something wrong. Or that it's been getting too repetitive and you've decided to
move on to someone else.” Eren rambled, almost absentmindedly as if speaking to
himself.
Levi, on the other hand, felt a cold terror in the pit of his stomach. Had he
really been acting differently? He wanted to laugh. How had this happened? He
was so far gone. He thought he had been doing a fair job of hiding his
feelings, but apparently not. He should have reassured the boy. He should have
wrapped his arms around him and told him the reason he was acting oddly was not
because he was bored of him, but instead that he was hopelessly in love and he
couldn't stand it. He should have said that he needed him so bad and he was
terrified of losing him. He should have told him he wanted him forever.
“And would riding me relieve some of this anxiety?” he simply stated.
Eren shrugged his shoulders, further demonstrating his discomfort and fear of
rejection.
“I thought maybe if we did it like that, it would be new and maybe you would
starting wanting me again.”
'I never stopped wanting you, idiot.'
“Fine. If it reassures you, I'll allow it this once.” Levi replied sternly.
Eren smiled brightly at him. Levi quickly washed himself and stepped out of the
tub. He handed the soap to Eren, a silent order to clean any the rest of the
places that he himself had not been able to reach.
“Finish up. Clean this mess. Then come to my room.” Levi demanded.
“Of course, Heichou.” Eren answered, nodding happily.
Levi tightly tied his towel around his hips and headed for his room. He ran his
fingers through his damp hair. Was he really going to be able to go through
with this? Could he truly let Eren be in control? He supposed that he would
still be able to take over if he chose to. Eren had never asked him for
anything like this before. He entered his room and flopped gracefully on his
bed. He had told Eren that he would only allow it once, but could he really
convince himself that he could say no to Eren?
Remembering the youth's lustful, hopeful eyes and his face reddened by the
steam of the bath was nearly enough to make him hard. He was afraid. That's
what it came down too. He was afraid Eren would keep asking for a bit more
control and he would keep giving it, eventually having nothing left. A part of
his mind chimed in, asking if it would really be so bad to lose control once in
a while. He didn't have time to ponder if further, his door creaked open and in
slipped the subject of his thoughts, dressed in his bed clothes.
“May I join you, Heichou?” Eren asked nervously. Levi titled his head away from
the younger man, a sign of acquiescence.
Eren crawled into the bed, his large body taking up a ridiculous amount of
space. Though Eren stood only a few inches taller than Levi, the boy was still
in his awkward life state of having oddly long limbs.
The sent of the boy filled Levi's nose and he breathed it in deeply. If Eren
needed him to move quickly in order for him to be convinced, that's just what
he would have to do. Levi swiftly spun himself on top of the brunette and
pinned his hands above his head. He could feel Eren's breathing accelerate.
He began to nip and lap at Eren's neck, paying special attention to where his
neck meets his shoulder. The boy was already mewling loudly and squirming under
him. He relinquished his hold on Eren's hands to allow him to pull his shirt
over his head. As soon as the offending garment was removed, Levi went right to
his lips, crushing them together and pushing his tongue into Eren's mouth and
filling his fist with soft brown hair. He let his tongue roam as it pleased,
drinking as much of his lover's taste as he could. He separated their mouth's
when the need for air began to make him dizzy.
He looked down at Eren. It was like this every time. A few well places kisses
and the boy was utterly destroyed and always managed to look incredibly
fuckable. His face was deeply flush, pupils almost unreasonably dilated, chest
heaving with need and an open mouth that silently begged for more attention.
Levi ran his hands downwards, over Eren's chest, paying special care to roughly
flick his both of his nipples simultaneously, if only to hear Eren squeal
delightfully at the sensation. He let his fingers mindlessly trace the outline
of the brunette's muscular stomach, earning him more sweet sounds. The older
man made quick work of the string that held up Eren's pants and removed them
with a single movement. He hastily removed his towel, still somehow wrapped
tightly on his waist.
“Ready brat?” he asked, but it was really more of a warning. He didn't wait for
a response and aptly flipped them over so that Eren was now straddling him.
He could see the nervousness playing in the younger's eyes and he rubbed
soothing circles on his muscular lower back. It seemed to help, as Eren
released some of the tension in his spine and his shoulders relaxed. He watched
as Eren's brows furrowed and a contemplative look danced around on his
features. He was going to ask Eren if he was having second thoughts, but the
words drowned in his throat. With an agility he was not used to seeing, Levi
could only watch as Eren lifted himself off of his abdomen and pushed his body
downwards, causing their erections to rub together for a fraction of a second.
Within another breath, Eren had taken him fully into his mouth.
Levi's jaw clench so suddenly, the sound of his teeth smacking together
resounded in his ears. He had not been expecting that. His fingers curled into
fists, handfuls of sheets being pulled along. He watched intensely as Eren's
head bobbed up and down, leaving trails of saliva in his wake. Eren gently
licked from him root to his tip, giving it a hard suck and releasing it with a
lewd popping sound. Levi hissed at the feeling.
Eren seemed satisfied that his cock was sufficiently wet and straddled him once
more. Levi could see Eren's arms shaking and he wasn't sure if it was in
anticipation or anxiety. Perhaps both. He lift his hand, grabbed a fistful of
brown hair and pulled his lover close for a soft kiss.
“If you don't relax, it won't work.” he whispered as gently as he could. Eren
seemed to have understood and nodded silently.
Eren repositioned himself and took a few deeps breaths. Dammit. Was he actually
about to let this brat ride him? He'd never let anyone do that before. Dammit,
dammit, dammit. He watched Eren through hooded eyes as the younger man seemed
to have steeled his nerves. Levi could feel his own heart fluttering in his
chest, a loud reminder of how anxious this truly made him. He only had the
chance to take one more breath before he left himself entering Eren. The look
of determination and focus on Eren's face would have been funny to him, if it
wasn't so endearing.
The pace was slower than he was used to. Eren had always been so open and
wanting that he truthfully couldn't help but bury himself as quickly as he
could. Perhaps this was why Eren had requested to ride him? Maybe he wanted to
try things a little slower, for once. It had never even crossed his mind that
Eren might want something softer every so often. Could he even do softer? He
wasn't convinced he could be gentle with Eren, even if he wanted to. That boy
drove him insane, absolutely bat-shit crazy. His years of well-trained facial
neutrality and emotional unavailability had been somehow entirely dissolved by
a bright-eyed brat.
It took every drop of will power to not just grab onto Eren's hips and push him
down. He promised Eren that he would try. Eren never asked him for anything. He
must really want this. And if that was the case, Levi could wait a little
longer. Just a little longer. Just... a... little... longer... Fuck! This was
absolutely maddening. He glared at Eren, but behind his eyes was a silent plea
to hurry the hell up because if it was going to be like this the whole time, he
wasn't going to last much longer.
Levi had thought that when Eren had finally allowed himself to be filled and
that his cock was wedge inside him as far as it would go, that a relief would
soon follow. He was extraordinarily mistaken. He had been inside Eren so, so
often. But it never felt like this. Every centimetre of his manhood throbbed
delightfully, enjoying the new and unexplored angle. They stayed like that for
a few moments, just revelling in the sensation of being connected and whole. He
watched Eren intensely. The brunette's mouth was slightly ajar, his eyes shut
tightly, hair darkened by sweat and clinging to his forehead, and his hands
were pressed up against Levi's stomach. Eren fingers pressed firmly against the
hard muscle, as if trying to find something to anchor him to the real word. He
was astonishingly beautiful.
When Eren finally, finally, decided he was ready to move, he chose the simplest
of movements. A sweet, slow roll of his hips. The action had the taller man
mewling with delight and Levi saw stars. There is just no way. There was no
logical reason as to why such an easy thing would cause the pleasure to spread
warmth all over. He felt his face flush and his toes curl. Eren repeated the
movement, a little harder, and screamed out at the feeling. The sound echoed in
Levi's ears and he bit his lip. Half of the reason he always got off so quickly
with the brat was because of those damn amazing sounds he would produce.
Eren must have decided that he had the hang of things, because he started to
roll his hips quicker and more insistently. Levi lifted settled his hands on
Eren's hips, waiting to flip them over if Eren asked him to. But he didn't.
Eren, in fact, started lifting himself slowly off of his cock and it made him
want to growl. What Eren did next, he would not and could not forget. Eren
slammed himself back down onto him, faster and harder than Levi would have ever
even dare to think about. The teenager cried out in ecstasy. Levi's record was
shattered into a million little pieces. Years of holding back, of swallowing
moans and forcing himself to be silent during sex, gone.
Levi moaned loudly into the night, throwing his head back and arching his back
off of the bed. His fingertips dug into the soft flesh of Eren's hips, mostly
likely creating bruises. The boy stared at him, wide-eyed and mouth agape.
“Heichou...” Eren whispered softly., smiling gently. The brunette leaned
forward and placed soft butterfly kisses along the older man's chest.
Levi knew that later he would feel humiliated that he had been forced into
letting go of his pride, had offered someone a moment of weakness. He couldn't
find it in himself to care right now. He might hate the annoying brat later,
right now, he didn't think he could love him anymore if he tried. He felt free.
The warmth he felt had nothing to do with his still throbbing dick or the
tightness he could feel in his balls. It was all Eren. Stupid, careless, hot-
headed, whiny, loud-mouthed, impulsive Eren. Damn, he was whipped, and he was
sure it was going to kill him one day. But for now he stopped thinking as he
felt Eren starting to move around against him.
It started slow, like before, but Eren barely wasted any time before he was
wildly thrusting himself down onto Levi. The older man kept his hands firmly
gripped on Eren's hips and simply let himself enjoy the ride, a slew of softer
moans and groans escaping his mouth at their own will. He could tell that Eren
was close to his orgasm and it was building fast. Levi's fingers were damp with
sweat and Eren had suddenly become nearly silent, apart from his heavy
breathing. He had enough of just being passenger now and Levi resolved himself
to take back at least some of the control. He folded his knees up so that they
pushed Eren forward just slightly, and began bucking his hips to meet Eren's as
the he continued to thrust himself into oblivion. Eren's eyes suddenly flew
open and Levi could see he had hit his mark. Eren, panted loudly and with
Levi's name starting rolling off of his tongue like a prayer. Without warning,
everything exploded behind Levi's eyes as Eren clenched around him, spurted
creamy white cum all over his belly and screamed his name to the heavens as he
rode out his orgasm. The sight of his beloved in such a beautiful position and
the extreme tightness that his dick was immersed in sent his over the edge half
of a second behind his lover. He groaned loudly as he let himself come deep
within Eren.
The teen collapsed on top of him, completely spent and with a dopey smile. He
let himself play in the brunette's soft locks. They may have stayed like that
for a few minutes or a few hours, Levi didn't know. Eventually, Eren rolled off
of him and his body protested at the missing heat. They quickly cleaned
themselves up and replaced the sheets on Levi's bed. The older man fell back
onto the bed, feeling surprisingly sated and content. He moved over to the side
to allow room for Eren to crawl in next to him, as per usual. The boy seemed
reluctant, and stood, now completely redressed, next to the door.
“You know, Heichou,” he started, “Someday, you will find a lovely girl to
marry. And you'll be able to do this with her instead of me. But until then,
you can call on me whenever you want. I'll do my best to please you.”
Eren smiled widely at him, but it was all wrong and clearly forced. A small,
strangled sounded escaped Eren's lips. The teenager covered his mouth quickly,
turned on his heals and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
The words Levi never said hung on the tip of his tongue.
Eren, why are you crying?
__
Levi woke from the dream in a jolt.
Chapter End Notes
     Thank you to everyone who has been leaving kudos, comments and
     subscribing. I can't believe I keep getting emails!! I just wanted to
     give you guys a heads-up that I am not one to reply to comments
     unless I think something needs addressing. It's really not because I
     don't appreciate them, more that I am shy and often sit at my
     computer stunned that I have a comment and wrack my brain trying to
     reply! I hope I am not offending anyone with my quietness!!
     See you all next week!
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi needs to save Eren's life again and has to come to terms with
     the fact that his Eren is out of reach.
Chapter Notes
     Hello everyone!
     I am so, so sorry that I have not updated in so long. I am sad to
     report that I, in fact, was in the hospital for a while due to my
     mental health. I did my best to continue occasionally writing in a
     note book so that there would be some content when I came back home.
     I'm doing much better, and ready to continue sharing this fic with
     you all! Thank you for your patience <3
See the end of the chapter for more notes
He had that dream often. He hated it. It always put him in a foul mood. Though
it pained him to admit it, it was his last memory. He hated that he had that
particular dream last night. It threw him through a loop he was hoping to
avoid. He could only assume he had died sometime after that night. He often
wondered if Eren had truly believed he was being used as a sex toy. Was it
because he had never said the words out loud? It seemed like a waste of breath,
to him. He did admit, they had done things a bit backwards. First it was the
sex, and as much as they could possibly get of it. But soon followed the
spooning after sex, kisses just for kisses and holding each other for the
comfort of contact. And the first time Eren fell asleep in his bed was the best
night of sleep he had in years. He sorely missed the warmth of a shared bed.
With a loud sigh laced with sadness, he swung his legs over the side of his bed
. He figured he should at least make use of his day off. He rose from his bed,
showered, dressed in some lounge pants and began cleaning up. He pulled the
sheets of his mattress and the pillowcases off his pillows. He put his dirty
towel in the laundry basket. He pull out the blood stained scrubs from his
backpack and added them as well. He washed the scrubs first, and separately.
While he waited for the load to finish washing, he dusted his few pieces of
furniture, moped the floor, cleaned the bathroom and took out the trash.
He went about his daily chores, but something nagged him in the back of his
mind. He knew exactly what he was doing. All this was just a distraction.
Trying to push away the conclusion he had come to as soon as he awoke this
morning. He didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to accept it. He
wanted this to end. He wanted to wake up in his old bed in an entanglement of
limbs to hear the soft snores escaping Eren's lips. But when had it ever been
about what he wanted? Ultimately, he knew what had to happen.
He needed to wait for Eren.
He had a working theory. It was the only thing he could come up with that he
felt made sense and soothed his fears. Eren's memories were not like his. They
didn't appear from the moment of his birth. They seemed to be slowly unlocking
themselves in chronological order with Eren's current age. He could only assume
that Eren's life up until the fall of Wall Maria was routine and normal,
barring a single incident of double-murder, and as a child, it could be
discounted as playing pretend or nightmares. And now with the awakening of the
memories related to that day, Eren's parent's must have thought he had lost his
mind.
He found it interesting that Eren had accepted these visions as his own
memories so quickly. It had taken him thirteen years to sort everything out.
Eren could have just as easily ran to his parents claiming to have scary images
in his mind. But no, he had desperately clung to these images and chose them as
reality. He wondered if both he and Eren shared the same deeply rooted feeling
of not belonging.
The theory made sense to him, but he almost wished it wasn't true. If he was
right, he would need to wait five years until Eren had even a single memory of
him. And then he had to wait for a few more weeks until Eren could remember
their relationship. What would happen then? It's not like they could just pick
up where they left off.
He didn't know what to do. Did he wait around for him? He already had a vague
idea of what was currently going on at the hospital. Eren was most likely being
assessed and was probably going to be diagnosed with schizophrenia, rare in
children, but not unheard of. Then it would be up to his parents. He had no
idea what they would chose to do. Eren might be admitted to the unit right
across the hall from him. Or his parent's might chose to hire private care and
have him stay at home. Hell, his parents could hand him over to the government
if they wanted to, then he had no idea where the boy would end up. Did he dare
hope that Eren would stick around the hospital long enough for him to find out
where he was headed? If he did end up in a different mental hospital, Levi
could easily ask for employment with them. But what if Eren got bounced around?
Someone would eventually notice his nearly unhealthy interest in the boy if he
tried to follow.
Did he leave? Apply for schooling or work in a different city? A different
country? Did he gamble on his theory being correct and hope that Eren would
seek him out once he remembered him? Leaving and waiting for Eren to find him
had one glaringly obvious problem. It supposed that Eren returned his feelings
and would want him again. He couldn't be sure. They had both been given new
lives, who was he to assume Eren wanted to throw away his second chance to be
with him? Had their relationship been fate or convenience? Were they soul mates
or teammates? Eren could simply accept their relationship for what it had been
and then choose to explore this new world and all of the fascinating people it
had to offer. It was his age old struggle. He needed to control Eren's
decisions and behaviours, but he could hardly control himself.
He came to a single conclusion. He would have to wait. He had so many thoughts
and daydreams in his mind, and he didn't even know if Eren would still be at
the hospital tomorrow. He had to relax. He also couldn't forgot that this Eren
was also a 10 year old boy. He would have to keep his thoughts in proper order
around the little one. Perhaps he could take this as an opportunity, Levi
pondered. He had not known Eren as a child. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad just to
spend time with little Eren and enjoy his smile and bright soul.
He tried to washed the snowballing thoughts from his mind as he went about
doing his second load of laundry. There were no answers right now and it would
not help him to get ahead of himself. He needed to get through today, see what
would happen tomorrow and then he could gather all the information he needed to
make a choice.
With his mind feeling a bit more at ease, Levi settled himself on his couch,
grabbed his gaming console's controller and started up Fallout: New Vegas. He
had come to deeply enjoy video games, especially this series. He sometimes
wondered how he and Eren would fair in a post-nuclear world. He imagined them
being pretty damn good at staying alive, with everything they had already lived
through together. Killing Super Mutants and fighting Deathclaws, the two of
them against the world. Hell, it sounded like piles of fun to him. He loaded up
his last saved game and let himself be immersed into the television.
__
Levi recognized the ring tone he had set for work and it pulled him out of his
game and drew his eyes to his cell phone, ringing loudly on the coffee table in
front of him. It was well into the afternoon at this point, maybe they wanted
to know if he was well enough to help out on the night shift.
“Hello?”
“Hi! Hello! Yes, hum. This is Levi right? You work on the other side of the
door?” Hanji's familiar voice chimed through the device.
“Yes, that's me.” he replied, feeling an anxious shiver on the back of his
neck.
“Good! Great! Are you busy?”
“I...”
“Glad to hear it! Look I know this is a teensy bit unprofessional of me, I'm
not actually your direct supervisor. But I need you to come in.” she paused,
“He's asking for you.”
No clarification was needed.
“I'll be there in thirty minutes.” he responded without hesitation or a second
thought.
“Awesome. See you soon then!” she added happily, but he could hear that it was
somewhat forced.
Levi promptly changed into a pair of jeans and a white v-neck sweater. He
pulled on a light coat and carelessly threw some scrubs into his backpack, just
in case. He swung the pack over his shoulder, locked up his apartment and began
walking towards the hospital. He tried to keep a calm pace, but from the looks
he was getting from other pedestrians, he doubted that was actually the case.
He had spent nearly the entirety of his day ruminating and fussing about what
to do about Eren, and of course, the brat had found a way to summon him.
Typical. He was trying to not let his thoughts get away from him too quickly
again, but it was in vain. His brain dumped a bunch of positive and negative
outcomes of what would happen when he saw Eren. He tried desperately to pushed
them all aside. His phone rang. Hanji again.
“Hello?”
“You close?”
“About two blocks away. Why?” he replied, a bit more demanding than he had
intended.
“Aha. Well. The situation has... elevated.” she responded nervously.
Levi's eyebrows furrowed together at her particular choice of word.
“What exactly does that mean?” Levi questioned, covering up the worry in his
gut by using an icy tone.
“He's on the roof.”
“Dammit Hanji!”
He closed his phone with a loud snap and took off in a brisk run. The roof?
Really? Really? Sure, Eren was charming and crafty but stealth had never been
his strong suit. Levi knew every inch of that building and he couldn't think of
a single way to get to the roof without bypassing security. There was only one
stairwell that lead to the roof, and it wasn't anywhere near the childrens'
ward. In fact, it was the same stairwell that Levi took every day.
Hanji was waiting for him, on the sidewalk, when he rounded the corner. She
didn't say anything to him, just tilted her head back and looked up. And there
he was. Little Eren stood on the ledge of the roof, eleven stories high. It was
enough to knock the breath right out of Levi's lungs. He bolted into the
hospital, startling colleagues.
“Levi!” He heard Hanji call from behind him. “Levi! Elevator!'
That was enough to get him to stop. He hated elevators. Hated them. But there
was no denying that it would save him a lot of time. For Eren, he told himself
as he hopped into the elevator with Hanji. He instantly regretted it. He
crouched down and hung his head between his knees.
“That's it. Deep breaths.” Hanji said softly.
For Eren. For Eren. For Eren.
He repeated to himself until the elevator finally stopped and the doors
squeaked open. He lunged out of the contraption like a caged animal. It
probably didn't last more than twenty seconds, but Levi felt like it had aged
him twenty years. They were in the musty corridor that lead to the roof. He
pushed up against the large, metal door and stepped cautiously onto the roof.
“Eren?” He meant for it to sound like a threat, but his nineteen year old
throat lacked the gruffness that comes with age and years of barking orders.
The little one turned, a bit too quickly for Levi's liking, and stared at him.
There were tears streaking down the child's face.
“Do you remember me?” Levi posed. The question had a double meaning.
“Yes.” Eren replied.
Levi held his breath.
“You're the nurse from yesterday.”
It was like a knee to the gut. Except a knee to the gut he would gladly take
over the emotional turmoil he was experiencing.
“Yes, that's right. Why are you up here, Eren?” Levi asked, slowly beginning to
take steps towards the 10 year old. Eren is still Eren, and he is rash and
clumsy. One wrong move and he was going over the edge.
“I thought I would be able to see the ocean from here.” Eren replied sadly,
followed by a small sniffle.
The... ocean? Levi had to stop himself from outright smiling. He did feel the
corners of his mouth tug upwards, just a little. There is was. The proof he had
been looking for. This boy was without a single shred of doubt, his Eren.
“I see.” Levi stated, “We're about a fifteen hour drive from the ocean. That
means that you won't be able to see it from here. I can't make any promises,
but I'll try my hardest to take you to see the ocean someday, alright?”
He took additional steps towards the boy. Slow and deliberate steps, as to not
startle the child in any way. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was
holding when he finally reached Eren. Levi fluffed Eren's hair affectionately,
but hated the feel of it. Still so brittle.
“Hey, I think there are some books in the day room. Want to go see if we have
any about the ocean?” Hanji piped up. Levi had forgotten she was there.
He nearly lost his balance as Eren suddenly clamped onto this left forearm.
Hanji laughed loudly.
“Yes, Levi can come too.” she added.
This seemed to somewhat soothe the boy, but his grip did not slacken. They
walked back to the elevator and took it down to the fifth floor, with Levi
desperately trying not to let Eren see his intense discomfort. When the door
finally opened, he snatched up little Eren and darted out of the foul machine.
Eren squealed in delight. Levi waited until Hanji let them into the locked area
and then let Eren slide out of his arms and onto the floor. He had never been
in the children's ward, so he let Hanji lead him and Eren to the day room. As
they turned a corner, a familiar stern face was staring back at him.
“Jackson!” Eren's mother shrieked. Damn that woman's voice was shrill.
Eren cautiously took a step back and hid himself behind Levi's legs. He felt
the familiar need to protect the brat bloom in his chest. He must have been
scowling, because the woman shot him an icy glare.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Powell.” Hanji said politely, “I believe our meeting is
scheduled for in about an hour or so. Am I mistaken?”
“No, that's correct. I am very busy today and I have the time now, so I thought
we might have the meeting now instead.” the woman replied, smiling in a fake
way that made her look like a feline playing with it's prey.
“Very well.” Hanji said. It sounded polite enough, but Levi's trained ears
could hear the surly undertones.
The woman advanced on Levi in quick, long strides. From the look on her face,
he thought she might try to punch him. Instead, she reached around him and
grabbed Eren by the wrist and tugged him forward. A small yelp of pain escaped
Eren's mouth.
“Mrs. Powell,” Hanji started, this time not bothering to be polite, “If you do
not loosen your grip on that child, I will call a social worker.”
The woman let go of Eren's arm as if it was suddenly hot iron. The boy sighed
at the release of pressure and rubbed his wrist.
“Can Mr. Levi come with us?” Eren asked hopefully, looking up at this mother
with wide eyes.
“No.” she replied quickly and coldly.
Hanji looked over at him and offered a sympathetic smile as she walked towards
her office for the meeting. He knew what that smile was for. It was to reassure
him, to tell him things would be okay. But as he watched Eren walk solemnly
next to the stern woman the realization that he had no power to protect Eren
hit him like a ton of bricks.
That woman was Eren's mother and he was nothing.
Chapter End Notes
     I sure hope this was worth the wait. Thank you to everyone who has
     returned to continue reading my story. Je vous aimes!
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Levi makes many new interesting discoveries. Tears are shed and
     smiles are shared.
Chapter Notes
     Hello beautiful readers. Well haven't you been a patient bunch? It's
     true, I'm back with a new chapter. Though I really can't excuse the
     delay, I will say that my hard drive crashed on me and I had about 11
     chapters written and I lost it all. I was so upset that I temporarily
     gave up on writing. But the wave has pulled back and I'm going to
     rewrite those chapters as best I can. So without further waiting,
     here is a new chapter to read.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi took a few deep breaths, willing his racing pulse and thoughts to push
through the distress he was feeling. He had known things would be difficult for
a few years. Patience, he told himself. A useful thought managed to bubble
through the disarray in his mind. Eren was still here, which means he must have
been officially admitted to the hospital. Levi decided grab his file from the
nursing station, and to search for his room.
He skillfully plucked the file folder with the name J. Powell written on it
while the nurses were away. He scoffed at the name on the file. It didn’t take
long for him to find the patient rooms, the children’s ward was a reflection of
the ward he worked in. He found a room in which a small navy blue hoody was
draped over the bed and recognized it as Eren’s. The room itself was still
quite bare; besides the hoddy, only a small backpack was pushed up against the
chair in the room.
Levi could feel his insides start to twist as he opened the file. He read
through the nurses notes, blood and urine tests results but there was no sign
of Hanji’s assessment. Perhaps she hadn’t completed it yet or it was not ready
for the file. Even so, the information available was slightly perturbing to
Levi. It seemed he had been correct in his initial assumptions and that Eren
did seem to have below average levels of vitamins and nutrients. Additionally,
he always seemed to be running a temperature, but no infections or viruses had
been detected. Levi reminisced that Eren had always been so warm, but he had
attributed that to the teen’s shifting abilities. A shudder ran through Levi’s
spine as a fear crept into his mind that perhaps Eren had retained some titan
traits. God, he hoped not. He continued to mull over the numbers in front of
his eyes.
“Hello! Are you looking for someone, sir?” a voice called to him. He noisily
dropped the file on the ground, documents scattering around his feet.
Not again. Please no. No. No. No. Levi could feel his eyes burn, tear ducts
threatened to overflow within an instant. He slowly turned around to get a
better look at the owner of this voice that called to the deepest parts of his
old soul. And there she was. He had never seen her quite this young, her
reddish blond hair long and cut into pretty layers that framed her youthful
face. She wore a knee-length, solid teal dress, a white cardigan and gray
tights with black flat shoes. A name tag was pinned to her cardigan.
Petra
Volunteer
He covered a sob with a cough and cleared his throat as best he could, even
though his throat felt incredibly constricted at the moment.
“I am actually a nurse here. I work on the other side. Dr. Zoe asked me to
assist her with the patient.” Levi explained, once he had found his voice.
Petra’s face flushed.
“Oh my goodness, I apologize! I hope I didn’t offend you.” she replied with a
slightly panicked tone.
Levi couldn’t help it. He couldn’t keep it together. He had spent years
ruminating over what he would say to his squad if he had the chance to see them
again, but he couldn’t seem to form another proper sentence before his emotions
rocked his heart and finally tears began to slip from his eyes. Levi couldn’t
help it. He smiled softly at the girl. Her eyes widened at the crying teen, she
stepped forward with concern lacing her features.
“It looks to me like you could use a decent cup of coffee. What do you say?”
she spoke softly in a tone Levi thought he would never again hear. He nodded
once. Petra looped her arm around Levi’s and began leading him to the other
side of the wing.
“What’s your name?” she asked gently.
“Levi.”
“Well I’m Petra! And I know a secret,” she began, smiling at him, “The best
coffee around here is the one the security guards have!”
“Oh?” Levi replied, happy to indulge her.
“Yep! One of the guards’ parents own their own coffee shop. They roast their
own beans and everything. He brings it in for his crew. They will share.” she
said affectionately.
They rounded a corner and Levi groaned audibly at the sight before him. He
simply didn’t have control of this 19 year old body like he did in his previous
life. His moods could sometimes be volatile and he was still full of teenage
hormones. He was simply not emotionally equipped to deal with something like
this. This time he could not hold back the loud sob that wracked his small body
and the tears began to flow, hot and endless.
He had never believed in God, but he found himself thanking some unknown deity,
somewhere.
Gunther, Eld, Auruo stood in front of him, dressed in cargo pants, a security
vest and a utility belt wrapped around their hips. With Petra by his side, his
original squad was reunited. Levi’s knees started to tremble and he thought
they might give out on him.
“Hey guys! This is Levi! He would like to have a cup of coffee with you.” she
presented him to the group.
They look slightly uncomfortable at the emotional teen, but Eld extended a warm
smile and brought out a chair for him to sit down on. Auruo brought Levi a
steaming cup of coffee. Gunther procured a box of tissues. Levi graciously
accepted. He was afraid. He was afraid this was another one of those dreams. He
would surely wake up soon and be once again reminded of the grief he
experienced in his first life.
But time began to pass normally, tears dried up. He sipped on the delicious
brew and chatted with his old squad mates. He found out Petra was a high school
student who was volunteering at the hospital as required by her school and
aspired to be a paediatric nurse one day. Gunther, Eld and Auruo were all a
year older than him, and they had originally planned to joined the army
together but decided against it once Eld found out he was going to be a father.
Levi joined in the conversation and explained that he had been called to help
get Eren off the roof. The men apologized profusely and exclaimed being
confused as to how the boy got passed them at all. Petra explained that the
event must have been scary for Levi, and chalked up the teen’s intense
emotional state to his heroic act of the day.
Soon however, Petra excused herself. Stating her shift was done and she had a
math test in a few days. She had to get home to study. She gave Levi a big hug,
which he had been unable to stop himself from returning. She said she
volunteers on Tuesdays and Thursdays and that they would see each other soon.
He continued to listen to his squad mates banter until a loud, bouncing voice
made them all turn their heads. Levi got out of his chair and knelt down on one
knee to welcome the little one into his arms for another hug.
“Mister Levi! Mister Levi!” Eren practically sprinted down the hallway. “Doctor
Hanji says I can stay here for a while!”
Eren beamed up brightly at him, very excited about the outcome of his mother’s
meeting with Hanji.
“That’s great kid.” Levi replied, ruffling Eren’s hair.
“You’ll stay too, right Mister Levi?” Eren said, twisting his small hands
together.
“Eren... “ Levi gulped down a breath, “Eren… I… It’s not that I don’t want to…”
Levi started.
Hanji appeared quietly around the corner and watched the two interact.
“We’d love to have you, Levi.” Hanji stated. Levi looked up at her, confused.
“You’re a great nurse Levi. I think you can help us help him,” she added, “I
mean, I’d have to run it passed the boss man…”
She was cut off by another voice. A smooth male voice, filled with authority
and had an edge to it that seemed to be saying that it’s owner always knew
something more than you did. Levi sucked in a shallow breath and turned his
head.
“I am not doing anymore running today.” the voice huffed in an almost comical
tone.
In the threshold of the door, standing tall, were none other than Erwin and
Mike. Both dressed in sweatpants and t-shirts, covered in sweat. One could
deduce that they had just returned from a run together.
“Boss man!” Hanji squealed, “Perfect timing, as usual of course. What do you
say? Could we take on Levi as a nurse?”
“Have the transfer paperwork on my desk by end of day tomorrow and I’ll
consider it.” Erwin replied, reaching for his water bottle and downing it.
Why? Why had this happened to him? Levi was overwhelmed. Sad and happy. Angry
and thrilled. How had his life been turned on it’s head in such a short time?
They were here. His friends. They were welcoming him into their new world. All
he could do was pull the child in his arms closer to his heart. Eren let
himself be pulled in and nuzzled into Levi.
“Thank you.” Levi whispered, “Thank you Eren. Thank you for breaking the wall
and bringing them back to me.”
No one in the room heard his words.
“Mister Levi, why are you crying?”
Chapter End Notes
     Again, thank you all for your patience, support, kind words and
     kudos. Take care, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
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